The reason why chicks dig Robert Pattison.

Robert Pattison is everywhere I look, and I could never figure out why. Till now. Recently my girlfriend had admitted feeling hot and heavy for this guy. Then it clicked why chicks dig him. He is a much skinner version of me. He steals all my looks and does it better because he has a make-up team to help. Don't believe me? I'll help spell it out.

Reason 1.
My hair. I have over the years adapted the style of looking like I woke up a sweaty mess....
Reason 2.
I stink like shit at all times of the day and I don't care. I take a shower and still stink, and I heard on the radio today that when he stepped on set for the 2nd movie he stank like shit. I also heard he doesn't wash his hair. Which I haven't done in 2 years.... Getting it yet?

Reason 3.
My ray band sunglasses....

Reason 4.
Flannel shit. I'm getting bored and pissed with all the stealing....Reason 5.
The whole vampire bit. I have a sweatshirt that says "Helsinki Vampires" and "Dead Until Dark," so what role does he take? A vampire. Looks like it's a little easy to be me....Reason 6.
He has got a new movie coming out. Guess what it's about? Him being Salvador Dali. Out of all the framed things I have guess which one is closest to me and is my favorite? My Dali poster....
I could go on all day, but I'll cut it short. The last and final reason for now.
Reason 7.
Some might think he is gay. Brianne tells me all the time that she thinks I'm gay. He even steals the little things that make me... well, me.

more later...